“I forgot to worry…”

Many of you heard about how God provided for my needs last semester. Each month, I had no idea how I would make the next payment on my training bill, but God completely provided for my needs through many anonymous givers–it was such a blessing! God blew me away time and time again by not only covering my training fees, but also providing money for gas and food! He is so faithful!

Well, after a semester of seeing God show Himself faithful, you’d think I’d have this whole trusting-and-depending-on-God-to-provide-for-my-needs thing figured out, right? I wish that were the case, but I’m human, and my faith is nowhere even close to the size of a mustard seed. Even after watching God do impossible things in my life, I still started off this semester with a mind full of doubts and worry. Within the first week of being back at MTC, I got an email reminding me that I needed to pay my initial semester fees, and immediately, I started worrying about where that money was going to come from. I wondered if I was going to have to drop out of training because I simply didn’t have the money to pay for it. Quite honestly, I was broke, and I didn’t have a clue what to do about it.

The semester started off with a bang, and life kinda “hit the fan”, so to speak. In my busyness, things like finances were pushed to the back of my mind and basically forgotten. But about the second or third week of classes, one of the girls in my e-linc shared with our group how God was providing for her training expenses and was showing Himself faithful in her life.

As I listened to her, I realized all of a sudden that I still hadn’t done anything about my training bill. The thought that literally went through my mind at that moment was, “That’s right! I forgot to worry about that!” My mind immediately wanted to kick into high-gear and try to figure out what to do about my financial situation. Then it hit me: why did I think I needed to worry about my needs? Was that somehow going to help the situation? Did I think I needed to help God figure out what to do? I realized that I don’t have to worry or stress about my needs–God knows what they are, and He can provide for me however He wants, whenever He wants, and it certainly doesn’t help anything for me to sit there and fret about it. In that moment, I decided to give the whole situation over to God, and trust Him to work things out. (easier said than done!) I prayed, “God, I believe that You can provide for me. Please help my unbelief!”

The very next morning, when I checked my mailbox, there was a statement of my account here at training. There was a note on it, saying “This doesn’t show the balance on your account, but these deposits (enough to cover my entire semester) were made to your account! Praise the Lord, Jehovah Jireh is His name!”

I was blown away. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped open. In His own way, His own time, God DID provide for me, no thanks to my worrying! 🙂 I’m learning all over again what it means to live in total dependence on God. “My God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:19

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